Dec
24
When the Love Wanted Doesn’t Match the Love Given
December 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Love between people is mostly about the acts between us. Within our minds what we give and what we want are the measures for how we perceive the love we feel. Ok, its completely off the site topic, yet tomorrow is Christmas Day, the main holiday to express our love to everyone we care about. You’ll likely put a lot of personal energy from emotion to money into your effort.
I was told by an eastern European lady that in their culture “soul mates” is a level that is sought after and built between lovers. She explained that she meant that each is giving what the other wants. It’s a target that those seeking romance are alert for and a common measure for rating relationships. It’s much more of an effort by lovers to meet the needs of the other. Instant soul mates then get it right very quickly; everyone else that cares to builds it up over time.
This Christmas a little Eastern culture might feel really good. As much as the techniques of the east are valuable, the reality is that western people are more reserved, communication restrained and growth limited. For some the giving perspective isn’t so strong, while the importance of having one’s needs met is much more common.
So if you’re in a relationship, parenting, married, dating or among family or friends the view you choose to have can make or break your day. Western people will need much more acceptance and appreciation of the efforts of others in showing their love. The prospect that your wants will be met needs to take a backseat to the incoming love expressed to you.
The suggestion for tomorrow is to look for the thought in every gift, to respond with grace, and feel the message given with a gift. For what you’ve giving to others, it may be too late to change; so the best gift could be make this year a journey of understanding into the hearts and souls of those you love.
Christmas Day seems to be the most society wide emotionally charged day of the year. Our choice in focus, the success of our efforts, the sensations we have can make for a wonderful day, or not. It’s a choice – to put the experience with others first or pour our attention on our tasks and the activities of others.
It’s not the gift that matters, it’s that a gift is given that matters. So let the response you return to those who care and love you be worthy of you and your sense about the giver. You have a whole year to teach them how to love you better.
Best of all would be to learn how to love them so that you give the love that is wanted and needed. Maybe, just maybe the loved will catch on and the journey into becoming “soul mates” will begin for you.
I wish all of you a Merry and Loving Christmas Day.
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